We finally made it through Phase I, or Red Phase, and moved on to White Phase. This is also known as the "Rambo Phase."
We finally got to fire our weapons. I've been waiting weeks for this, and I've got to say, it was worth the wait. We've got all types of ranges here. Training is actually starting to get a little fun. We've been tossing grenades, firing our rifles at close targets, pop-up targets, far-away targets. We've been chucking grenades and learning our way around other types of weapons as well.
Even with all the PT, drills, marching, running, classes, shooting, and blowing shit up, they still can't keep me busy enough to keep me from thinking of you and missing you. I have officially been gone for over a month now, but you're still just as clear in my mind as the day I left.
I hope that you are doing fine and getting along alright without me around. I hope that you are happy and having a good time. I hope that you still laugh alot. It's probably hard to laugh as much as you did when I was around because, let's face it, I'm fucking hilarious, and it would be impossible to find someone as funny as me. But still, I hope that you still smile and laugh alot. Don't forget that I will be home soon. Not super-soon, but soon enough. I am determined to make it through this thing they call BCT so that the next time you see me, I will be a soldier.
Thank you for loving me. Your love is my strength.
I miss you.
Love,
Your Husband.
Monday, October 26, 2009
A Letter to My Kids - Part 6
Hi kids!
It's almost Halloween! Everyone excited? I'm excited for you guys.
Everything's going good for me. We're having alot of fun here at Fort Jackson.
I hope you guys are having alot of fun too.
Tell everyone I said hello. And don't forget to put the trash out tomorrow night.
I love you guys.
And oh yeah, almost forgot. I hope you guys are being very, very good! Because next week you guys get your first surprise! Remember to be on very good behavior, because you only get your surprise if your being good.
Alright. I love you guys.
Love,
Daddy.
It's almost Halloween! Everyone excited? I'm excited for you guys.
Everything's going good for me. We're having alot of fun here at Fort Jackson.
I hope you guys are having alot of fun too.
Tell everyone I said hello. And don't forget to put the trash out tomorrow night.
I love you guys.
And oh yeah, almost forgot. I hope you guys are being very, very good! Because next week you guys get your first surprise! Remember to be on very good behavior, because you only get your surprise if your being good.
Alright. I love you guys.
Love,
Daddy.
Monday, October 19, 2009
A Letter to My Wife - Part 5
Well, it's official. It's no longer a matter of, "I can't do anything right." Now "WE can't do anything right."
Yeah, this week I was assigned my battle buddy. Every time I fuck up, we both pay. And every time he does something wrong, I get to share the credit with him. It's awesome. It is kind of nice to have someone to motivate you along, and someone to motivate. That feeling that someone is relying on me to help and motivate them makes me feel... more useful, I guess. It inspires me to try that much harder.
I have also mastered the art of taking apart and putting my rifle back together. Don't tell my drill sergeant I said that; he doesn't agree.
Aside from that it's been another week of the same old same old. Drills. PT. Marching. Running. Getting dropped (DROP AND GIVE ME TWENTY! YES, DRILL SERGEANT!). Eating food that tastes like feet. Sleeping every now and then for what feels like a few minutes.
And still I think of you every day. I wonder what you're doing. Sometimes I get a moment to look up toward the sky. It's beautiful out here after dark. It's a strange feeling to be so far away and know that when I look up and see the moon, it's the same moon that you see out in California.
Sometimes I picture myself sitting over there on the couch, staring at you as you sit there in your chair. You are beautiful. I picture your smile when I need a boost. Thoughts of you have become my wonder drug, my steroids, and my serenity.
Anyhow, make sure you're taking good care of yourself. Eat well, and rest well. And make sure to have some fun, too. Pick up the phone and call people. Talk to people. And be sure to smile.
I miss you and I love you very much.
Love,
Your Husband.
Yeah, this week I was assigned my battle buddy. Every time I fuck up, we both pay. And every time he does something wrong, I get to share the credit with him. It's awesome. It is kind of nice to have someone to motivate you along, and someone to motivate. That feeling that someone is relying on me to help and motivate them makes me feel... more useful, I guess. It inspires me to try that much harder.
I have also mastered the art of taking apart and putting my rifle back together. Don't tell my drill sergeant I said that; he doesn't agree.
Aside from that it's been another week of the same old same old. Drills. PT. Marching. Running. Getting dropped (DROP AND GIVE ME TWENTY! YES, DRILL SERGEANT!). Eating food that tastes like feet. Sleeping every now and then for what feels like a few minutes.
And still I think of you every day. I wonder what you're doing. Sometimes I get a moment to look up toward the sky. It's beautiful out here after dark. It's a strange feeling to be so far away and know that when I look up and see the moon, it's the same moon that you see out in California.
Sometimes I picture myself sitting over there on the couch, staring at you as you sit there in your chair. You are beautiful. I picture your smile when I need a boost. Thoughts of you have become my wonder drug, my steroids, and my serenity.
Anyhow, make sure you're taking good care of yourself. Eat well, and rest well. And make sure to have some fun, too. Pick up the phone and call people. Talk to people. And be sure to smile.
I miss you and I love you very much.
Love,
Your Husband.
A Letter to My Kids - Part 5
And here we are once again... another monday cyber meeting.
I know that you guys miss me, and I miss you, too. Just stay strong and we'll all be back together soon. Just so you guys know, I'm having alot of fun in training. We get to shoot guns and throw grenades and play on obstacle courses. It's alot like 9 weeks of recess... with guns.
Halloween is coming up soon. Make sure to decide what you want to dress up as this year and go out and get LOTS of candy! If you need money for costumes, ask Nana or Gramma or Grammy Tammy, I'm sure they'd be glad to help out.
Okay, well be good and have lots of fun. Be nice to eachother, and make sure to help out with things like keeping the house clean, feeding and watering the dog, doing dishes, taking out the trash, and stuff like that.
I love you guys!
Love,
Daddy.
I know that you guys miss me, and I miss you, too. Just stay strong and we'll all be back together soon. Just so you guys know, I'm having alot of fun in training. We get to shoot guns and throw grenades and play on obstacle courses. It's alot like 9 weeks of recess... with guns.
Halloween is coming up soon. Make sure to decide what you want to dress up as this year and go out and get LOTS of candy! If you need money for costumes, ask Nana or Gramma or Grammy Tammy, I'm sure they'd be glad to help out.
Okay, well be good and have lots of fun. Be nice to eachother, and make sure to help out with things like keeping the house clean, feeding and watering the dog, doing dishes, taking out the trash, and stuff like that.
I love you guys!
Love,
Daddy.
Monday, October 12, 2009
A Letter to My Wife - Part 4
Hello again, pertty lady!
How's everything going with you? Not too crazy, I hope. Have the kids been (relatively) good? If not, remind them that I now have an M16A2 Assault Rifle, and I'm alot stronger now than when I left. Ha ha ha.
So by now I'm sure you've sent me tons of letters, which I really appreciate. The food tastes like feet, sleep is a rare delicacy, we work way too hard and way too long, I can't do anything right, and my drill sergeants hate me. Your letters really are the only things I have to look forward to every day.
You're never gonna believe it, but I finally learned how to clean a bathroom and make my bed. Tell my grandma, she'll be shocked to hear it.
So over this last week, we have continued on as we did in week one. Learning to march. Learning to stand. Learning to build muscle and endurance. But we've also had a little class time to learn a few other things, such DON'T freakin sexually harass people, and don't be a fucking racist.
We also learned how to choke, vomit and cry like little girls. They taught us that in the gas chamber. Once your ability to breathe returns, it's really quite nice. It was like an enema, or a colon cleansing for the lungs and sinuses.
This week the people of the United States of America thought it would be a good idea to give me an M16A2 assault rifle. I don't know whether or not that's the best decision this country has ever made, but I think it's freakin awesome. I have named my rifle Annaleese. We go everywhere together. Don't be jealous though. Okay yeah, I have some feelings for her, but not like the feelings I have for you. Plus she feels nothing for me... she's as cold as steel. Oh wait, she is steel.
I finally learned how to do some things right, though most of the time it's not quite good enough. Oh well, at least I'm not doing everything completely wrong anymore.
I am exhausted. Constantly. I miss you and think about you all the time. I want you to know that I love you very much. Can't wait to see you again.
Love,
Your Husband.
How's everything going with you? Not too crazy, I hope. Have the kids been (relatively) good? If not, remind them that I now have an M16A2 Assault Rifle, and I'm alot stronger now than when I left. Ha ha ha.
So by now I'm sure you've sent me tons of letters, which I really appreciate. The food tastes like feet, sleep is a rare delicacy, we work way too hard and way too long, I can't do anything right, and my drill sergeants hate me. Your letters really are the only things I have to look forward to every day.
You're never gonna believe it, but I finally learned how to clean a bathroom and make my bed. Tell my grandma, she'll be shocked to hear it.
So over this last week, we have continued on as we did in week one. Learning to march. Learning to stand. Learning to build muscle and endurance. But we've also had a little class time to learn a few other things, such DON'T freakin sexually harass people, and don't be a fucking racist.
We also learned how to choke, vomit and cry like little girls. They taught us that in the gas chamber. Once your ability to breathe returns, it's really quite nice. It was like an enema, or a colon cleansing for the lungs and sinuses.
This week the people of the United States of America thought it would be a good idea to give me an M16A2 assault rifle. I don't know whether or not that's the best decision this country has ever made, but I think it's freakin awesome. I have named my rifle Annaleese. We go everywhere together. Don't be jealous though. Okay yeah, I have some feelings for her, but not like the feelings I have for you. Plus she feels nothing for me... she's as cold as steel. Oh wait, she is steel.
I finally learned how to do some things right, though most of the time it's not quite good enough. Oh well, at least I'm not doing everything completely wrong anymore.
I am exhausted. Constantly. I miss you and think about you all the time. I want you to know that I love you very much. Can't wait to see you again.
Love,
Your Husband.
A Letter to My Kids - Part 4
Hello again, kids!
I'm having alot of fun in BCT. We get to shoot shit and crawl around in the mud and do lots of running around and pushups and stuff. It's really alot of fun.
But I do miss you guys. I think about you every day. I know that you guys are being good and having lots of fun. I know that you guys are doing what your told and not fighting to much or giving anyone too much crap, right?
I hope so.
Anyhow, I just wanted to say that I love you guys very much. Thank you both very much for helping out around the house while I'm gone. I also appreciate the letters that you guys send. I always look forward to mail call every day and getting to read your letters during my free time at night.
Stay strong you two. I'll talk to you later.
I love you.
Love,
Daddy.
I'm having alot of fun in BCT. We get to shoot shit and crawl around in the mud and do lots of running around and pushups and stuff. It's really alot of fun.
But I do miss you guys. I think about you every day. I know that you guys are being good and having lots of fun. I know that you guys are doing what your told and not fighting to much or giving anyone too much crap, right?
I hope so.
Anyhow, I just wanted to say that I love you guys very much. Thank you both very much for helping out around the house while I'm gone. I also appreciate the letters that you guys send. I always look forward to mail call every day and getting to read your letters during my free time at night.
Stay strong you two. I'll talk to you later.
I love you.
Love,
Daddy.
Monday, October 5, 2009
A Letter to My Wife - Part 3
Oh god, please, get me the hell out of here. Seriously, come pick me up. Let's go be hobos in Canada. Or hey we could use that jar full of change to buy a city in Mexico were we can be gods with all of our copper and nickel and silver.
Do I really feel this way? A part of me seriously does. Hell maybe even most of me. But then there are those other parts of me. There's the part that wants to succeed. There's the part that wants to provide for you. There's the part of me that will never accept defeat, will never quit. There's the part of me that wants to be able to pay the utility bill. There's the part of me that wants to be able to provide for my children, to help them through college. To be able to help them through hard times in their early adulthood when they need food or PG&E is threatening to shut off their power. And there is that isolated part of me, the one that likes to run with loud music playing in my MP3 player, who likes to read books and write, who likes to play poker with my face covered and not say a word... the part of me that is, in some twisted way, truly enjoying this adventure, doing things I have never done before in places I have never been.
These are the parts of me that are stronger and more determined and hard-headed than those weaker parts of me that want to quit. My desire to fall down, to just go home on a early separation cannot outweigh my will to overcome all that seems impossible.
Would I rather be sharing all of these experiences with you and the kids? Y-E-S. Would I like to be able to see you and hug you and kiss you every day? Yes. But I carry you with me every where I go, in everything I do, in my mind and in my heart. No, that's not exactly true. To be accurate, the thoughts of you in my mind and in my heart are what is carrying me through this. And it will carry me through all the way to the end.
On to some details regarding my training.
This week we learned the definition of "Total Control." I have officially stopped thinking for myself. I have been programmed to be in "standby" mode by default. Standby mode is where I stand by and do nothing, think nothing, look at nothing, and try not to fart, smile, or collapse from exhaustion. When I am given a command by my drill sergeant, I snap out of standby mode on go immediately into "I-do-whatever-the-fuck-you-say" mode. While this is extrememly physically demanding, I'm on a mental freakin vacation here. I don't have to try to figure out the right way of doing anything anymore. I just do it. There is no more right and wrong. The right way to poop used to be in the toilet. Now, I'll just go ahead and poop in my shorts if I'm instructed to do so. See how much simpler things are now? Ha ha ha. I don't have to think. I just wait and then do as instructed. It's that simple.
Another thing you might find interesting is that my drill sergeant is deaf. I didn't even know that deaf people were allowed in the Army, but they are. Maybe it's because he's not completely deaf; just very hard of hearing. As long as I scream everything at the top of my lungs, he is able to hear me. Usually. It really pisses him off when I don't talk loud enough for him to hear, so for now, I love screaming. I also love the phrase "Drop and give me twenty." It is my favorite phrase and my favorite activity. You can tell because I do it ALL THE TIME!
I was also given my PT Test. I didn't do as well as the drill sergeants grandma, but I did okay by my standards. We also began our Physical Training. It's tough, but if the DS's grandma can do it, so can I. So far I am still not able to run as fast as his grandma, but I'm working on it. I also can't do as many sit-ups or push-ups as his grandma yet, but maybe I will be able to by the end of this thing.
We get up every day at 0430. That's so we can get more done by noon than most people get done all day. And believe me, we do! And instead of wasting all night sleeping, I get to wake up in the middle of the night and go on "fire guard." That means I walk around the barracks for two hours in the middle of the night instead of sleeping. Doing this reminds me of a word I used to know, though I can no longer define it. The word is "why." I have completely forgotten what that word means. "Why" is irrelevant here. Doing it is all that matters, whatever "it" is.
I can't wait til next week. I'll get tear gassed in the face. I hear it's great for clearing out your lungs and sinuses, and after going two weeks without I cigarette now, I could go for a good lung and sinus clearing. I'll also get my M16A2 Assualt Rifle. Seriously can't wait for that.
I miss you and I love you.
Do I really feel this way? A part of me seriously does. Hell maybe even most of me. But then there are those other parts of me. There's the part that wants to succeed. There's the part that wants to provide for you. There's the part of me that will never accept defeat, will never quit. There's the part of me that wants to be able to pay the utility bill. There's the part of me that wants to be able to provide for my children, to help them through college. To be able to help them through hard times in their early adulthood when they need food or PG&E is threatening to shut off their power. And there is that isolated part of me, the one that likes to run with loud music playing in my MP3 player, who likes to read books and write, who likes to play poker with my face covered and not say a word... the part of me that is, in some twisted way, truly enjoying this adventure, doing things I have never done before in places I have never been.
These are the parts of me that are stronger and more determined and hard-headed than those weaker parts of me that want to quit. My desire to fall down, to just go home on a early separation cannot outweigh my will to overcome all that seems impossible.
Would I rather be sharing all of these experiences with you and the kids? Y-E-S. Would I like to be able to see you and hug you and kiss you every day? Yes. But I carry you with me every where I go, in everything I do, in my mind and in my heart. No, that's not exactly true. To be accurate, the thoughts of you in my mind and in my heart are what is carrying me through this. And it will carry me through all the way to the end.
On to some details regarding my training.
This week we learned the definition of "Total Control." I have officially stopped thinking for myself. I have been programmed to be in "standby" mode by default. Standby mode is where I stand by and do nothing, think nothing, look at nothing, and try not to fart, smile, or collapse from exhaustion. When I am given a command by my drill sergeant, I snap out of standby mode on go immediately into "I-do-whatever-the-fuck-you-say" mode. While this is extrememly physically demanding, I'm on a mental freakin vacation here. I don't have to try to figure out the right way of doing anything anymore. I just do it. There is no more right and wrong. The right way to poop used to be in the toilet. Now, I'll just go ahead and poop in my shorts if I'm instructed to do so. See how much simpler things are now? Ha ha ha. I don't have to think. I just wait and then do as instructed. It's that simple.
Another thing you might find interesting is that my drill sergeant is deaf. I didn't even know that deaf people were allowed in the Army, but they are. Maybe it's because he's not completely deaf; just very hard of hearing. As long as I scream everything at the top of my lungs, he is able to hear me. Usually. It really pisses him off when I don't talk loud enough for him to hear, so for now, I love screaming. I also love the phrase "Drop and give me twenty." It is my favorite phrase and my favorite activity. You can tell because I do it ALL THE TIME!
I was also given my PT Test. I didn't do as well as the drill sergeants grandma, but I did okay by my standards. We also began our Physical Training. It's tough, but if the DS's grandma can do it, so can I. So far I am still not able to run as fast as his grandma, but I'm working on it. I also can't do as many sit-ups or push-ups as his grandma yet, but maybe I will be able to by the end of this thing.
We get up every day at 0430. That's so we can get more done by noon than most people get done all day. And believe me, we do! And instead of wasting all night sleeping, I get to wake up in the middle of the night and go on "fire guard." That means I walk around the barracks for two hours in the middle of the night instead of sleeping. Doing this reminds me of a word I used to know, though I can no longer define it. The word is "why." I have completely forgotten what that word means. "Why" is irrelevant here. Doing it is all that matters, whatever "it" is.
I can't wait til next week. I'll get tear gassed in the face. I hear it's great for clearing out your lungs and sinuses, and after going two weeks without I cigarette now, I could go for a good lung and sinus clearing. I'll also get my M16A2 Assualt Rifle. Seriously can't wait for that.
I miss you and I love you.
A Letter to My Kids - Part 3
Hello again, kiddies!
Another week has passed, and I'm sure you all have been doing great. I'm working out alot, getting screamed at alot, but they're getting me in great shape.
Now I have bigger muscles and a big-ass assault rifle! Awesome!
So you guys are still being good right? Getting all your homework done? Have you been helping out around the house? Is the dog still alive? Make sure she gets food and water every day!
Okay, so a few more weeks to your first surprise. Make sure that you guys are having fun and are happy and are being good. Hopefully you guys got my address so that you can write letters to me whenever you want. If not, you should be getting it soon.
Okay, so keep up the good work. Don't forget to put the trash out tomorrow night.
I love you guys!
Love,
Daddy.
Another week has passed, and I'm sure you all have been doing great. I'm working out alot, getting screamed at alot, but they're getting me in great shape.
Now I have bigger muscles and a big-ass assault rifle! Awesome!
So you guys are still being good right? Getting all your homework done? Have you been helping out around the house? Is the dog still alive? Make sure she gets food and water every day!
Okay, so a few more weeks to your first surprise. Make sure that you guys are having fun and are happy and are being good. Hopefully you guys got my address so that you can write letters to me whenever you want. If not, you should be getting it soon.
Okay, so keep up the good work. Don't forget to put the trash out tomorrow night.
I love you guys!
Love,
Daddy.
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